For a long time, the rulers of our country were denying that they had over borrowed and there was not going to be a problem. They were extremely defensive and sensitive to any criticism of their indebtedness. They were totally in denial. They would even brag that they will not stop borrowing.
What are they saying today? They are blaming everything on the coronavirus and their unpatriotic critics, detractors who are trying to destroy the image of the country.
They also attempted to change the Constitution of our Republic on their own, by themselves through Bill 10. They were not ready to listen to anyone other than their own inner demons. They were not ready to build sufficient consensus around the Constitutional amendment process they were seeking. They thought they could marshal, on their own, the two-thirds parliamentary majority required to amend the Constitution. They failed. And now they are blaming others for this failure.
They seem to live in a world of denials of reality and refusals to take responsibility for their decisions and actions.
Denial is a coping mechanism that gives one time to adjust to distressing situations — but staying in denial can interfere with one’s ability to tackle challenges.
If you’re in denial, you’re trying to protect yourself by refusing to accept the truth about something that’s happening in your affairs.
In some cases, initial short-term denial can be a good thing, giving you time to adjust to a painful or stressful issue. It might also be a precursor to making some sort of change in your affairs. But denial has a dark side. Basic psychology teaches us that refusing to acknowledge that something is wrong is a way of coping with emotional conflict, stress, painful thoughts, threatening information and anxiety. You can be in denial about anything that makes you feel vulnerable or threatens your sense of control.
When you’re in denial, you won’t acknowledge a difficult situation.
Refusing to face facts might seem unhealthy.
Sometimes, though, a short period of denial can be helpful. Being in denial gives your mind the opportunity to unconsciously absorb shocking or distressing information at a pace that won’t send you into a psychological tailspin.
For example, after a traumatic event, you might need several days or weeks to process what’s happened and come to grips with the challenges ahead.
You initially denied the distressing problem. But as your mind absorbed the possibility, you began to approach the problem more rationally and took action by seeking help.
But what if you had continued to be in denial? What if you never sought help? If denial persists and prevents you from taking appropriate action, it’s a harmful response.
When faced with an overwhelming turn of events, it’s okay to say, ‘I just can’t think about all of this right now.’ You might need time to work through what’s happened and adapt to new circumstances. But it’s important to realise that denial should only be a temporary measure — it won’t change the reality of the situation. Honestly examine what you fear.
Until you accept responsibility for your actions or failures, it’ll be very difficult for you to develop self-respect or even have the respect of others.
It’s a simple truth that all human beings make mistakes and poor choices. The same goes for when we fail to act when we know we should. There are times when we all look the other way when we know the right thing to do is to take helpful action.
The real difference between being responsible and being irresponsible is an indication of how effectively we’re managing our affairs when the opportunity to make a good or bad choice presents itself. Accepting responsibility is one of the most important factors in defining a person’s true character. When that responsible moment comes, what you do – or don’t do – is an indication of the type of person you really are.
Failing to accept personal responsibility may work to your advantage on occasion or in the short term. For example, you might get away with blaming someone else for your misdeeds. You might not face consequences for your wrong actions at the time. However, make no mistake about this, eventually this poor choice will catch up with you and, it’ll typically cause more pain for you down the road than if you had stepped up to the situation, took responsibility for it and honestly said, ‘I made a mistake.’
When you blame others, you give up your power to change things, correct wrongs.
As we are witnessing with the rulers of our country today, over time, failing to accept responsibility has severe consequences. First and foremost, it has a devastating effect on your own mind and heart. When you know you have failed to take responsibility for something that you should, it’ll begin to bother you, to eat at you, little by little. Pretty soon, you’ll feel very small inside.
That may sound like an exaggeration, but it’s the truth. Taking responsibility for your own actions makes life work better. Remember, self-respect is the worth or value you place on yourself. Therefore, one of the consequences of continuingly failing to accept personal responsibility is that you eventually guarantee that you’ll view yourself as having little to no real value.
There’s a good chance that when you avoid accepting personal responsibility, someone will know that you’ve failed in this way. In other words, some other person may know that you’re responsible for the wrongdoing or poor choice, and when they see you fail to accept responsibility, they’ll lose all respect for you. If this happens on a frequent basis, you’ll never gain the respect of others that you hope to have one day.
Sometimes we don’t always see the long-term effects of our conduct. But, make no mistake, accepting responsibility is a major factor in receiving the respect and admiration of those around you. Accepting responsibility is not only the right thing to do, but it’ll pay more long-term dividends than you can now imagine.
And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
Clearly, the rulers of our country are caught in their own web of denials of reality and refusals to accept responsibility for their decisions and actions.
Mwika Royal Village, Chinsali
November 24, 2020